You'll be a Man my son!

Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into the barn. But theymade the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted: Emersonpushed and his son pulled, but the calf did just what they did. He stiffenedhis legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture. The Irish housemaidobserved their predicament, she couldn'twrite essays and books, but on thisoccasion at least had more sense than Emerson had. She thought of what thecalf wanted; so she put hermaternal finger in the calf's mouth, and let thecalf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn. Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started work at twocents an hour and finally gave away $365 million dollarslearned early inlife that the only way to influence people is to talk to them in terms ofwhat they want. He attended school only four years,yet he learned how tohandle people. To Illustrate: His sister-in-law was worried sick over hertwo boys. They were at Yale, and they were sobusy with their own affairsthat they neglected to write home and paid no attention to their mother'sfrantic letters.Carnegie offered to wager a hundred dollars that he couldget an answer by return mail, without even asking for it. Someone calledhisbet; so he wrote his nephews a chatty letter, mentioning casually in apostscript that he was sending each one a five-dollar bill. Heneglected,however, to enclose the money. Back came replies by returnmailthanking "Dear Uncle Andrew" for his kind note and you can finish thesentence yourself. Next time you want to persuade someone to do something, pause and ask, howcan I make him want to do it? Ask yourself how can I tie what I want to whathe wants? You can do this by asking theperson directly. What would you liketo see happen? What would you like to gain from this? What can I do for you?How can I help you getwhat you want? This skill is very simple, direct andeffective!